Vivienne Casaletto

I am 20 years old which means it's time for me to start calling The Ecstasy of Gold “L’estasi dell oro” so naturally to make this jump I sat down (over the course of about 18 months, with intermittent Wikipedia plot readings to keep my mind sharp.) and I finally watched Sergio Leone’s Dollars Trilogy. I’ll be honest, these movies were KICK ASS. They made me proud of who I am, proud to be Italian for it was the Italians who provided the set and the Italians who provided all of those women with extremely powerful eyebrows. I was so satisfied I even moved one of the flicks into my Letterboxd top four. “Time worth spent” I thought and I moved on with my life.

Or you would think.

Days had past, I had moved onto Dirty Harry by now and the gunslinger ballads of trilogies past were comfortably resting in my mind until I opened Depop to spend a little Christmas cash.

Everywhere! Ponchos! Knit, leather-trimmed, horse-laden, hooded and even “lowkey ugly” ones. But I hadn’t been looking at ponchos, in fact the last thing I looked for on Depop was “L.L Bean Flannel Lined Jeans” (never pulled the trigger) so how could this be happening? I check the inbox. 15 new offers for bolo ties I eyed a year ago, all sent within the last 48 hours. Overcome with that ever dreadful feeling of being slightly weirded out I sat back in my chair a moment, sighing in relief, convincing myself that it was just a weird coincidence until I caught my reflection on the computer screen. There I was stretched out with my legs up on another chair, hands folded in my lap, pencil in my mouth like a cigar and squinting in thought. Good god.

Of course!

Clint Eastwood is sending me parasocial messages through depop. Every offer of 10% off is a silent urge for me to become stoic and quiet on the western front. Yes yes it all makes sense now; Clint I understand now that you are looking for a protegee and that it has to be me. My piercing green eyes and my “mixed girl hair” make me the perfect neo-eastwood. I’ll collect my last pay check and use it to go west. I’ll only bring the essentials too: true vintage reversible full length horse print poncho 34.55 (special offer from seller), Smith and Wesson 637 38 caliber Small Frame Revolver, Carton of Topo Chico Lime, Vacation Brand “Whipped” Sunscreen a pack of Cheyennes and a desperate need for a Jewish man to play a Mexican bandit.

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