Tilda Swinton Accused of Toxic Androgyny

HOLLYWOOD–The battle of the sexes has expanded to a new front with the alleged toxic androgyny of one Tilda Swinton. Sources say she is sweeping through the gender wars like a hurricane, combining the very worst of masculinity and femininity. She’s been spotted listening to Joe Rogan while also reading Goop. Her four favorites on Letterboxd consist of Wolf of Wall Street, Mean Girls, American Psycho, and Barbie. Worst of all, she seems to have mastered both physical dominance and emotional manipulation.

She is both a deadbeat dad and an overbearing mother. She rides a motorcycle and drinks beer at PTA meetings. Her skincare routine is a single bottle of all-in-one soap. She gossips behind your back while punching you in the face.

She met Hillary Clinton once and perfectly mansplained feminism to her. She watches real housewives but calls them all bitches and sluts. She gaslights like a boyfriend but guilt trips like a mom.

She is the most toxic andron in the world.

“I am not always toxic, but when I am, I prefer androgyny. Stay toxic my friends.”

- Tilda Swinton

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RICK IDAHO

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