Romantic Train Operator Launches 40 Potential Couples Together with Abrupt Stop

CHICAGO, IL—Chicago Transit Authority train operator and self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, Sam Thomas, abruptly stopped the “L” train he was operating, throwing around 40 potential lovers together. “I can’t think of anything more romantic than meeting on public transit,” said Thomas. According to the CTA, the red line subway train was traveling north at a speed of 33 miles per hour, when Thomas pulled the breaks, bringing the whole train to a halt in 3 seconds. Around 80 riders were launched into the walls, doors, and possible life partners. Twenty-two riders sustained minor injuries, three were transported to the hospital, and at least four injured people were laughing signaling this might be a story they tell their grandkids one day. “It’s great to know that I could be the reason these people met and even maybe have children. I may have lost my job but the world just gained a little love.” Said Thomas in a public statement, who is facing charges of endangering the safety of a mass transit system and reckless endangerment.

Meet the Author!

BEN VAN HOOK

started writing satire because being rude in public wasn’t enough. He’s 26 years old and performs improv and sketch comedy in Chicago. He loves back scratches. He has all his shots and has been chipped. Potty training still required. $27.

Help support independent artists!

Click to tip the writer!

More

Get Involved!