Onlyfans Acquires Rights to Lola Bunny in Warner Brothers Deal

HOLLYWOOD—Warner Brothers, eager to make a deal with anyone, have sold the rights to the popular Looney Tunes character Lola Bunny in a reportedly $69 billion dollar agreement with OnlyFans. The sale came after weeks of tense negotiations amid Warner Brothers’ talks with Netflix and Paramount, with sources close to the matter claiming OnlyFans started lowballing until mock-ups were shown at which point they started blueballing. Longtime male fans of the cartoon character rejoiced at the decision, while every other demographic was outraged with some calling it “gross” and “weird”. Executives at Warner Brothers and OnlyFans responded to the criticism with a statement saying, “While we understand your concerns we ask that you trust us in this new chapter of this character. You’d be surprised how tasteful nudes of a cartoon bunny rabbit can be.” At press time, several protestors had gathered to chant angrily at the deal, but after seeing the results all they could muster was a “sufferin’ succotash” under their breath as they bit their lips.

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